


They Say I'm Going Crazy, But Really This is What's Keeping Me Sane

by Hahmeeyay



Series: ThalZoë [2]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Bittersweet, F/F, Feels, Late Night Conversations, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 08:00:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17914940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hahmeeyay/pseuds/Hahmeeyay
Summary: Thalia starts talking with the Huntress constellation everyday and the Hunters start to get concerned for her.





	They Say I'm Going Crazy, But Really This is What's Keeping Me Sane

**Author's Note:**

> Part two of this little series about Thalia and Zoë. Not sure how many more one shots/short stories I'll be doing but I want to write about how they met, when Thalia was traveling with Annabeth and Luke. That'll probably be more than one chapter.
> 
> Anyway this is kind of a sad hour fic, the idea popped into my head and I decided to write it down. Don't worry, it ends on a happy note. :)

"The winter," Thalia said. "It's very cold this year." She chuckled. "Although I seem to be more immune to it ever since I was a tree."

 

She was sitting about fifteen feet of the ground on a branch of a big pine tree, much like the one she had been turned into by her father, the Olympian Zeus. Her legs swung freely below her as she picked at the bark between her knees, leaning back against the tree trunk. She was watching the stars, again. Below her and to her left was the Hunters' campsite. There was an ardent fire crackling away in the center of a circle of animal hide tents. The girls were settling in for the night and starting to disappear into their tents. A few of them glanced up at Thalia with concerned expressions, but continued with their tasks. 

 

Thalia had been visited by Zoë Nightshade's starry form just over two weeks ago, and everyone knew about it. The morning after, she had told Artemis about it while they packed up, not bothering to keep her voice down. The girls who had overheard later told the rest of the group. A few of them had attempted to question Thalia about it (as they all missed Zoë very much), but she would become silent and walk away from the conversation, too emotional to answer them. For the most part, they were understanding of her and let her have her space, which wasn't that hard, as she had taken to sleeping up in trees and walking in the very back of the pack whenever they were on the move.

 

The Hunters were somewhere in southern Ontario, Canada, tracking down monsters and killing them. Once, they even ran into a satyr, who was looking for any demigods to bring to Camp Halfblood. They were polite but separated quickly, as they both had very different quests. Since the girls were immortal, they didn't need to rest as often as normal humans, and could travel an entire day with monster fights sprinkled here and there without having to sleep.

 

On this occasion, the Hunters had just disintegrated a pack of Hellhounds, sending them all back to Tartarus. They were all pretty worn down and needed to stop to regain strength and tend to wounds. Once Thalia's tent was standing, she had scaled the tree by the light of the fire and settled against the trunk, watching the sun disappear under the horizon.  

 

Everything lately had reminded Thalia of Zoë Nightshade. The smell of the campfire that wafted up into the treetops. The color of the dark stream that they had past yesterday. The sound of the snow crunching and the wildlife just beyond the tree trunks. They all brought Thalia back to one thought.  _Zoë, Zoë, Zoë._

 

Thalia told the stars about these things every night. As a few more Hunters slipped into their tents, she began talking to the constellation.

 

"The winter, it's very cold this year. Although I seem to be more immune to it ever since I was a tree. There's some ice on top of the snow that kinda hurts my shins when I break through it. Luckily I figured out that if I walk behind everyone else, the ice will have already been stepped on by everyone else, so I don't have to worry about it." Thalia peeled off some more tree bark and examined it thoughtfully. "This bark isn't far from the color of your eyes. It always amazed me how dark they were, but there was always a big difference between your pupils and irises." Thalia cocked her head slightly. "Is that weird? I feel like that's weird. Anyway, I saw altocumulus castellanus clouds today. They reminded me of you, since you always liked weirdly-shaped clouds. Remember when we went on walks and you'd point out clouds and I'd tell you what they were called? I barely remember half of those Latin names now. I just haven't had a reason to name them." She became quiet for a moment, lost in memories.

 

"Thalia?" A cautious voice called up to her.

 

The girl in the tree looked down and saw Greta, a pretty, blonde Hunter standing below her, shifting her weight from foot to foot. "Yeah?"

 

"Artemis says she wants to see you in her tent," Greta replied.

 

"Right now?" Thalia asked, slightly annoyed that she was being interrupted.

 

"Yeah," Greta said apologetically.

 

Thalia huffed and swung her right leg over the branch and jumped down to the ground, landing beside Greta.

 

Greta cleared her throat. "Hey, you okay? We've been worried about you." She gestured in the direction of the campsite behind her.

 

Thalia shrugged. "I'm coping in my own way." She walked passed the blonde Hunter and toward Artemis' tent.  _If you're so worried about me, why do you look at me like I'm crazy?_

 

She took a deep breath before ducking into the goddess' tent. "You wanted to see me?"

 

Artemis sat on her cot, surrounded by various furs and hunting gear. A small white fox was curled up at her feet. "Yes, child. Please, sit." 

 

Thalia sank down beside her, looking cautious.

 

"Thalia, you're not taking this loss well," Artemis started. "The girls have expressed their concerns to me about you. They've noticed you're extremely quiet and haven't been eating much, and that you're talking to yourself-"

 

"I'm not talking to myself," Thalia cut in. "I'm talking to Zoë. I know she's listening. And I know that they think I'm going insane because I spent more time talking to the sky than to real flesh-and-blood people. They've already forgotten about her, Artemis. They judge me for not letting go."

 

Artemis put her hand on Thalia's knee. "The Hunters have not forgotten her, child. They have each other to talk it through with, and you have no one. They don't understand how close you two were, either."

 

"It's not fair," Thalia said shortly.

 

Artemis sighed. "I have something for you. It might help the healing process, but before I give it to you, I need you to promise that you'll have more patience with the girls. You're my lieutenant and you have responsibilities, and that includes having good relations with the rest of the Hunters. I can't have you guys disliking each other."

 

Thalia nodded. "I promise I'll try." She was a bit curious as to what Artemis had that could help her.

 

The goddess removed her hand from Thalia's leg and reached under the cot, pulling out a mass of soft material. A Hunter's coat.

 

Artemis held it close to her and said, "This... this was Zoë's. When she, uh, went to the stars, this was left behind. I'm not exactly sure why, but I'm glad it was. I haven't been exactly sure what to do with it, but I guess you should have it. You're welcome to use it, or... or just keep it."

 

Thalia's breath hitched in her throat. Artemis held the precious coat out to her, and she gingerly took it like it was a baby. She pressed it to her nose, breathing in the scent of campfire and caramel. The scent of Zoë Nightshade. She clutched it to her, thanking every god and goddess she could think of. She finally had something physical to remember Zoë by, something to remind her that she had existed and had once been held in her arms. 

 

"Thank you, Artemis," Thalia whispered into the fur. "This is priceless."

 

Artemis smiled.  "Perhaps you can sleep in your tent tonight, and not in a tree."

 

Thalia half-smiled back. "Yeah, maybe I can." And with that, she left, clutching Zoë's coat to her like a three-year-old would hold her favorite Teddy bear.

 

Outside, the once bright fire was now a pile of smoldering embers, still releasing a tiny bit of warmth. Thalia stopped by it, watching the coals glow red hot. She thought that they were beautiful.

 

She turned away and saw a pair of young girls watching her. Their eyes widened and they looked away, apologizing quietly.

 

"Don't apologize," Thalia said, walking toward her scarcely-used tent. "There's nothing to be sorry for."

 

Inside her tent, she slipped off her boots and coat, all the while clutching Zoë's. Her roommate opened her eyes for a second and look at her sleepily before rolling over and immediately falling asleep again. Thalia crawled into her bed and folded the precious coat next to her pillow so that she knew it would be close,and that she wouldn't rub the scent off. For the first time in a long time, Thalia fell asleep with her mind at peace.

 

//

 

The next morning, Thalia woke to someone gently shaking her shoulder. " _Thalia. Thalia! Wake up, we're leaving soon!"_

 

Thalia opened her eyes and sat up. "What time is it?"

 

The Huntress before her-Casey, was that her name?- stepped back quickly to give her room. "We're packing up our tents right now, but, like, no rush."

 

Thalia nodded, running her hands through her bed hair. "Thanks." 

 

Casey nodded and turned back to her side of the tent, folding her cot up. Thalia stood and folded her fur blankets. She picked up Zoë's coat and placed it gently behind her so that it was safely out of the way.

 

"Hey, I'll be outside. Again, there's no rush, I just have, uh, stuff to do outside. I gotta feed some of the wolves," Casey said. She ducked out of the tent.

 

Thalia finished packing away her cot and picked up Zoë's coat. She wasn't letting that thing out of her sight. She stepped outside and breathed in the crisp winter air and looked around at the bustling campsite. Hunters were skillfully collapsing their animal-hide tents and feeding wolves, and Artemis stood a little ways away in trees watching them. She quickly found Casey surrounded by four or five white wolves and tapped her on the shoulder.

 

"We can put away the tent now, I'm all finished," Thalia said, holding her coat over the wolves below her. She wasn't chancing it getting pulled down and ripped to shreds.

 

"Alright. What's that?" Casey inquired, nodding to the piece of clothing held above their heads.

 

"Oh, it's nothing. Just my hunting coat," Thalia said quickly. For some reason, she didn't want the other Hunters knowing that it was Zoë's.

 

Casey decided not to point out to Thalia that she was already wearing her own coat. 

 

"Okay, I'll fold the pegs on the other side," said Casey. She walked around to the other side of the tent and grabbed two pegs, folding them together. 

 

Thalia quickly set the priceless coat down and did the same on her side, and the tent collapsed neatly into small pile of hides and pegs. It looked much to small to hold two girls in that state, but that was the magic of it. Now, the folded up tent could easily fit in their hunting packs without taking up too much room. 

 

"Nice work," Casey said cautiously. It was evident that she was still nervous around the Hunting lieutenant.

 

"Yeah, not bad." Thalia turned around and saw one of the younger that had been watching her yesterday picking up Zoë's hunting coat.

 

"Here-" she said, holding it out to Thalia.

 

" _No! Don't!_ " Thalia yelled.

 

The scared girl hastily dropped it in the snow and stumbled backward. "I-I was just trying to help-"

 

"You can't touch it! It won't smell like her anymore! If you touch it, it won't smell like her..." Thalia said, stumbling forward and dropping to her knees, clutching the cloth to her chest.

 

She completely forgot that Artemis had asked her to be patient with the Hunters. She glared up at the terrified girl and at the other Hunters who stopped had stopped to watch the commotion.

 

She felt a firm hand on her shoulder. Craning her neck, she saw that it was Artemis, looking sternly down at her. "Thalia. Come with me."

 

Thalia stood quickly and followed Artemis a small ways into the trees, glancing back at the small crowd of girls. 

 

"Daughter of Zeus," Artemis said. Her eyes flashed but her voice remained calm. "That outburst was unacceptable. You have got to learn how to control your emotions. You really scared Emilia over there, and now it's going to take a very long time for you to gain her trust back. This is not how my lieutenants act."

 

Thalia lowered her head in shame. "I don't know what I was thinking. Please don't take Zoë's coat away from me. I promise I'm gonna keep my head next time."

 

"There shouldn't have to be a next time. I trusted you to have peace with my Hunters and you've creating a rift between yourselves. I'm not going to take that away from you because I can tell it's going to help with the healing process, but you can't scare them when they touch it, okay? Emilia didn't know that it was Zoë's, just keep that in mind. She was trying to reach out to you. If something like this happens again, you may not be my lieutenant anymore," Artemis lectured. 

 

The two girls stood there facing each other, listening to the girls finishing packing their gear. "Okay." Thalia murmured.

 

Artemis turned and walked back to the campsite, leaving Thalia standing under the snowy trees.

 

She stood there, trying to slow her racing mind.  _Zoë, if you're listening, I need your help to give me peace. I'm too overprotective and closed off and I don't have any friends here currently. If you could just let me know that you're watching me and that you believe in me, that would be amazing. Gods, I miss you so much. You knew how to keep my temper in check. I really need you right now._

 

"We're moving out!" Artemis called.

 

As Thalia started walking back, a warm breeze swept over her. It smelled like a strong campfire and warm, sweet caramel. Thalia knew that she would never get sick of that smell. "Thanks, Zoë," she said aloud.

 

She took up her place at the back of the pack as they moved farther north into Canada. Emilia glanced back at her with wide eyes.

 

Thalia gave her a small smile. Emilia smiled and slowed her walking, until she was next to the older girl. She really was very young, maybe ten or eleven.

 

"Hey," Thalia said, almost shyly.

 

"Hi," Emilia said. "How are you going?"

 

"I'm okay, thanks for asking. Sorry I yelled at you, Emilia. I'm still trying to sort out my emotions. I wasn't fair to you," Thalia said looking down at the small girl.

 

"It's alright, I forgive you, Thalia," Emilia said, nudging Thalia's arm. "Will you tell me about Zoë? I barely got to know her."

 

Thalia smiled up at the blue sky, then down to the curious girl. "I'll tell you everything."


End file.
